New Perfume Review Byredo Velvet Haze- A Piece of the 60’s

The most maligned perfume ingredient of all is probably patchouli. It mostly comes by its poor reputation because it was so closely associated with the smell of the hippies. There was a meme I saw which had as the definition of patchouli “filthy hippie”. During the Summer of Love, in 1969, there were probably many who ascribed to that in the rest of society. In scent, it is hard to shake an association once it resides in your memory. What is particularly sad about it is patchouli is one of the more versatile ingredients in perfumery. It has only become more varied in its use with the advent of fractionation and supercritical fluid extractions. Once the filthy hippie was treated differently new perspective on patchouli could be seen. One of the perfumers who has done wonders with the new versions of patchouli is Jerome Epinette. In his latest release for Byredo, called Velvet Haze, inspired by the 1960’s he has done it again.

Ben Gorham

Creative director Ben Gorham wanted Velvet Haze to be “inspired by the very evocative 1960’s music and cultural movement”. I must believe they tried very hard to license the name Purple Haze only to have to compromise on this. I find the change more apt. While I am not one who sees colors with my fragrance; if I was asked to word associate with patchouli “purple” would be one of the words. Because M. Epinette chooses a fraction as the keynote this patchouli is more velvet than purple. As has become the Byredo trademark Mr. Gorham and M. Epinette have collaborated on a lighter version of fragrance. It leaves it being like a faded memory of the 1960’s carrying a kind of elegiac beauty with it.

Jerome Epinette

Velvet Haze starts with a brilliant accord which leans in towards the whole filthy hippie concept. M. Epinette takes the clean sweetness of coconut water and combines it with the botanical musk of ambrette seeds. This gives a kind of slightly sweet sweaty skin. Not filthy more like bronzed skin with rivulets of perspiration trailing down it. The patchouli comes up to meet this accord and for a while there is an accord of patchouli covering sweaty skin. I really like this part of the development as over time the patchouli becomes more focused. This fraction is a brighter version of patchouli it carries lesser aspects of the earthiness containing more of the herbal quality. Then the final ingredient provides a bit of alternative darkness as a dusting of fine cacao mixes with the patchouli for the final hours.

Velvet Haze has 8-10 hour longevity and moderate sillage.

Velvet Haze is an excellent modern patchouli perfume; another in an already impressive collection by M. Epinette. I appreciate that Mr. Gorham didn’t just go for an immersive 60’s experience. Instead by only reaching for a fraction of the past they have captured a modern piece of the 60’s.

Disclosure: This review was based on a sample provided by Byredo.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Maison Francis Kurkdjian Oud Satin Mood Extrait- Pump Up The Quality

Extrait versions of perfumes that I already think highly of fall into two categories. One just gives me a higher concentration of that which I already like. That can be seen as the easier way but upping the strength without unbalancing the whole is trickier to achieve than it seems. The other way is to reinterpret the original version shifting a few critical notes while upping the concentration. This is the walk across a tightrope as everything you change has an effect on the overall construct potentially just losing its balance and disappearing into the mist below. Perfumer Francis Kurkdjian chose this second way with his Maison Francis Kurkdjian Oud Satin Mood Extrait.

When it comes to working with oud I believe M. Kurkdjian is the best at it. If you look at the breadth of oud fragrances he has released across all the brands he works for you will see every shade possible. The pinnacle of this was the Maison Francis Kurkdjian Oud Mood collection. Within that each mood was named after a fabric. M. Kurkdjian would create a tactile version of oud to match the textile inspiration. My favorite oud perfume M. Kurkdjian has ever done was the fourth release Oud Satin Mood. One reason was he turned the fractious oud into satiny smooth exotica. Using Laotian oud he has made one of the great oud perfumes by rounding off the edges with resins and roses.

Francis Kurkdjian

My affection for that perfume had me wondering what the Extrait version would be like. I had been warned the composition was altered with the resins removed. I was conflicted about that but my faith in M. Kurkdjian was such that I knew the changes would ring true. They do.

As in the original version we begin with candied violets and Laotian oud. Laotian oud has an inherently floral undercurrent. That floral nature is brought to the forefront due to the concentration. The violet intersperses itself in crystalline nuggets throughout. The mixture of Tunisian and Turkish roses partners this oud. They arrive with a swoosh enveloping the oud and violet before uncovering the oud again minus the violet. Now a classic rose oud lingers for a moment before the oud gains ascendency again. What helps is a simmering cinnamon and amber duo which replace the benzoin from the original. Extraits when they are at their best are banked fires holding their energy within glowing coals of intensity. The cinnamon and amber make those embers glow white hot. Benzoin I don’t believe could’ve had this effect. It all culminates in fabulously sweet vanilla recapitulating the candied violet at the top with a deeper sweetness.

Oud Satin Mood Extrait has 24-hour longevity and average sillage.

I got my sample of this at the beginning of the summer and I was patiently waiting for some cool rainy days to wear it because I thought it would have not impressed in the heat. On two very cool days it did more than impressed it outdid the original. I have already picked out the scarf which will have this applied to as I enter the fall and winter. M. Kurkdjian didn’t just pump up the volume but the quality too.

Disclosure: this review was based on a press sample provided by Maison Francis Kurkdjian.

Mark Behnke

The Sunday Magazine: HBO’s Game of Thrones Season 7

There are often some great lessons about how you can’t please people so you might as well please yourself. Latest example is the recently completed season seven of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is one of the last remaining big appointment television shows left running. After the completion of the sixth season last summer they announced they would be finishing the story with two final seasons; a 7-episode seventh season followed by a six-episode final season.

Game of Thrones is in a completely unique place to any other adaptation ever put on film as it has gone past the written page. George RR Martin the author behind the story being depicted in Game of Thrones has been unable to stay ahead of the producers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. They only took on the project because Mr. Martin gave them much of the tentpoles of the end of the saga including the eventual ending. What is incredible is the television show is going to reveal the ending before the author does. I am sure Mr. Martin’s path to the same place has some more twists and turns but both the visual and the printed versions will end up in the same place.

With only thirteen episodes left the producers and the cast mentioned that the narrative pace was going to pick up speed now headed towards the end. I have no problem with that because I have spent sixty previous episodes with these characters I am now ready to get to the resolution of their individual paths. Here is where my first sentence comes into play. The first episode of this season was all about reminding us where each group of characters was while placing them within the overarching plotlines. After that first episode, the internet was ablaze with “what happened to speeding things up?”. I was thrilled with it; the final eight minutes showed the return of one character, who had been exiled the entire series back, to where she was born. The actress conveyed all her emotions on her face and in her eyes before speaking the final line of the episode. That was what I wanted; payoff for having followed this journey for six seasons. The next two episodes would move our characters rapidly towards their inevitable intersections. Time and again paying off the foundation built in many seasons prior. At the end of episode three with a single line from a dying woman a verbal dagger was plunged in to two hearts. Again, complaints were rife about how fast characters moved around and unrealistic timelines while also wondering where the action was.

Please address any complaints to our head of GOT Customer Service

Two of the next three episodes were some of the greatest spectacle ever done in television. Full on war with dragons and a terrifying battle of a few men against an army of the dead. This was broad action as has never been attempted on a television screen. During both moments, I kept thinking “Thank heavens for wide screen hd tv.” For all of that it was a quiet moment at the end of the episode in between which showed how smart these writers are with these characters.

One of the fun things is finally getting to see characters who have not always been together meet on screen for the first time or as part of a group for the first time. it is the latter that takes place at the end of episode five. In an example of narrative economy eight characters ping-pong, via a line or two, the reason they don’t trust one of the others in about two minutes. Each character is true to what we’ve seen before, each character reveals something new, and each character knows they are going to do something with this group that likely will kill them.

This all culminates in a last episode that slingshots the audience to the final season with anticipation. Except for those sad souls who can’t stop complaining. I am completely satisfied with this penultimate season as it felt like almost every important character development had been earned from what had come previously. Maybe the complainers just can’t bear the thought of it all ending. I can’t wait for the final six episodes.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Ellis Brooklyn Rives- Framing Lavender

Going fragrance shopping at the mall used to be a terribly depressing experience. It seemed like all the fragrance counters were covered in the same brands and bottles. Sometime in the last couple of years something changed and a few of the stores decided to strike out in a different direction. One of those stores is Sephora. Just about three years ago they expanded by adding in some carefully curated well-known niche brands. This has been followed with expansion into some equally well-chosen independent brands. I don’t know for sure who is doing the selection but that person, or persons, deserves a round of applause. I receive a quarterly box of samples from Sephora. It is one of my most eagerly awaited arrivals because there seem to be new discoveries within, every three months. In my midsummer box one of those discoveries was the new brand Ellis Brooklyn.

Bee Shapiro

Ellis Brooklyn was founded about a year ago by New York Times beauty writer Bee Shapiro. As a professional she had a deep knowledge of whom she might like to work with on her perfume line. She probably couldn’t have made a better choice than perfumer Jerome Epinette. One reason for that is M. Epinette is perhaps the best perfumer to help build a distinctive brand aesthetic. Ms. Shapiro wanted her line to be “fresh”. Fresh can be one of those descriptors which has become sort of meaningless because of its overuse. What I can say through the first five Ellis Brooklyn releases is Ms. Shapiro and M. Epinette have a better understanding of the word than most.

Jerome Epinette

Fable crackles with green floral energy and woods. Myth does the same with white flowers. Raven takes rhubarb and patchouli without becoming weighted down. Rrose is a crisp vanilla rose which seems like it shouldn’t ever come together, but it does. I have liked all of these but it is the newest release Rives I have fallen for.

Rives is a fresh fougere in what is becoming the Ellis Brooklyn style. What I mean by that is M. Epinette draws distinct boundaries with specific notes to allow other ingredients to expand within. For a crisp fougere the expansive ingredient will be lavender. The four sides of the frame to contain it are petitgrain, neroli, cashmeran, and a suede leather accord. The lavender pushes up against the neroli and petitgrain in a typical fougere opening phase. It gets less typical as the opaque suede accord arrives. As with Rrose and the vanilla the leather is something which could weigh everything down. M. Epinette manages to make these heavier notes retain their strength without overwhelming. The cashmeran is its characteristic blond woody self as the frame around the lavender snaps into place.

Rives has 8-10 hour longevity and moderate sillage.

I recently took someone on a perfume sniffing trip to the mall. I was excited to take someone who is just discovering the wide world beyond the department store into Sephora. She went home with a bag of samples. The one bottle she bought was Ellis Brooklyn Rives. Ms. Shapiro has provided yet another reason why fragrance shopping in the mall is much less of a wasteland.

Disclosure: this review was based on a sample provided by Sephora.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Shay & Blue Scarlet Lily- Intelligent Accord

It is a great thing when a good European-based brand finds its way to the US. I always root for the good ones to have as much coverage as they can. The English brand Shay & Blue is one of these. Started by creative director Dom De Vetta five years ago it was a UK exclusive for a long time. Mr. De Vetta founded Shay & Blue after a tenure at Jo Malone London. As he started Shay & Blue he had the freedom to be a little more creative which has become one of the brand hallmarks. He has worked exclusively with perfumer Julie Masse developing an effective partnership which also helps define the Shay & Blue aesthetic. The latest release is Scarlet Lily.

Julie Masse and Dom De Vetta

Lily is a hard note to feature in fragrance; in its most prevalent version it can have a sterility to it. What gets forgotten is there are other versions of lily instead of the white version seen at weddings and funerals. There is a tawdry pink version called the Stargazer Lily which has a spicy core to it which imparts a bit more life into things. It is that one which is featured in Scarlet Lily.

Mme Masse opens Scarlet Lily floating on a watery lotus. It is a lovely choice as the aquatic nature is burned away by the spicy lily as it rises over the lotus like the sunrise. To keep the spicy heart out in front Mme Masses uses red pepper to provide an opaque piquancy. To buff the floral parts a bit of muguet and ylang-ylang provide support. All together it forms a lively spicy lily accord which is where Scarlet Lily lingers for hours before descending into the warm embrace of amber at the end.

Scarlet Lily has 8-10 hour longevity and average sillage.

Scarlet Lily is yet another reminder of the top-notch collection Mr. De Vetta is compiling here. They are all simple constructs but each carries more heft than their simplicity would imply. Scarlet Lily is another which shines by forming a compelling accord intelligently.

Disclosure : This review was based on a sample I purchased.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Creed Viking- Nordic Lightning?

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There are many perfumes which have outsized reputations. One of those is Creed Aventus. Aventus has defined the masculine offerings from The House of Creed ever since it was released in 2010. There was a part of me that wondered if they would ever try and capture that lightning in a bottle again. I received an e-mail a few weeks ago answering that question as I was offered a preview sample of their new masculine perfume Creed Viking.

Viking is inspired by the voyages of the Viking longships as they discovered the new lands within their ability to sail there. Viking surprisingly coalesces around a rose heart. A spicy rose is a common theme for masculine florals. I wanted a bit more of the ocean here but there is nothing of that to be found. If Aventus is the perfume for date night; Viking is the perfume for the office. Perfumer Olivier Creed does an admirable job trying to follow up a sensation.

Olivier Creed

Viking opens with a focused charge of lemon. When lemon is done well it pops; in Viking it pops. Mr. Creed then uses the herbal baie rose to pierce that brightness. The first few minutes are full of energy. The rose in the heart starts to come forward. This is a Bulgarian rose which is very deep displaying the spicy quality this rose has within. Mr. Creed then brackets it with hot and cold. Pepper is the hot and peppermint is the cool. The pepper sinks into the spices inherent to the rose bringing them to the foreground. The peppermint exhales an icy breath across all of it. This is a nicely achieved rose heart accord. A bit of lavender begins the transition to the woods in the base. Sandalwood and vetiver provide the foundation. A rich patchouli carries the depth of the rose in the heart to the woody foundation.

Viking has 10-12 hour longevity and moderate sillage.

Let’s get the overarching question out of the way; is Viking as good as Aventus? No, but I think Aventus is one of the best perfumes Creed has ever made. Viking is not in that league. It is a Creed masculine in the same vein as their classic Green Irish Tweed. I think Viking will have a group of admirers of its spicy rose. It might be enough to even bring some admirers closer. Viking is a good Creed perfume it is not Nordic lightning.

Disclosure: This review is based upon a preview sample provided by Creed.

Mark Behnke

My Favorite Things: Raspberry

If there is one style of perfume I struggle with it is fruity floral. Part of that is because of the first word, “fruity”. It usually means intensely sweet which lives on the edge of my tolerance for that in a fragrance. There are many times I wish I could smell the version that didn’t make it into the bottle; where the fruit was cut in half. I had a realization a couple weeks ago when I was wearing one of my favorite hot weather colognes which has a prominent raspberry in it. As I was walking in the heat I realized this is a time when this should be at its worst for my sensibilities but it wasn’t. Which made me realize there are a few raspberry perfumes I really enjoy. Here are five of them.

The perfume that opened my thinking up is Carthusia Uomo. Carthusia is one of those perfume brands which is not very well-known but I think Uomo is one of the best colognes I own. Released in 1948 as part of the original set of Carthusia fragrances it is a raspberry, rosewood, and leather cologne. The raspberry is made very dry so that it lays itself like a veil over the soft rosewood which is supported by an even softer leather. This has been one of my favorite colognes ever since I tried it for the first time.

For the flip side the raspberry perfume I pull out when the weather turns colder is Tom Ford Private Blend Tuscan Leather. This has been what I have worn to many formal occasions. Tuscan Leather was one of the original Private Blend releases ten years ago. Perfumers Harry Fremont and Jacques Cavallier created a lovely mixture of fruit and animalic that works. The raspberry is surrounded with herbs and resins to keep it under control. As the leather rises the raspberry also meets it on its ascendancy. This is one of the best sellers in this very popular line. Wear it a few times and it is easy to understand why.

Shay & Blue Framboise Noire also finds the animalic is the right companion for raspberry. Perfumer Julie Masse uses musk as the companion in Framboise Noire. This also sits on a base of dark woods which provide a depth to the entire mix. If leather and raspberry don’t appeal musk and raspberry might.

When I tried Marc Jacobs Daisy the strawberry on top made me rush for the cosmetic wipes. You could have had me on the floor laughing if you told me replacing the strawberry with raspberry would change my opinion. Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau so Fresh did exactly that and you had to pick me up off the floor. Perfumer Alberto Morillas made that change but he also lightened and tightened up the entire construction from top to bottom. It is one of the few fruity florals I point to when I’m at the mall and asked for a recommendation.

Tauer Une Rose Vermeille is an example of what I would do if asked to conspire on a fruity floral. Andy Tauer uses raspberry as a note to fill in around the gorgeous rose at the heart of this perfume it is recognizably there but most of the time it is as part of a greater rose accord that I notice it. This gets richer with a vanilla and ambergris base. This is Hr. Tauer at his best finding the right notes to fill in the spaces.

If you’re a fan of raspberry and haven’t tried these see if they give you a different perspective on the little red fruit.

Disclosure: this review is based on bottles I purchased.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Amouage Figment Man- Studying Serenity

There are several inspirations which crop up again and again in fragrance. One of the more common ones is the fictional city of Shangri-La from the 1933 book by James Hilton and the movie of the same name by director Frank Capra four years later. It is suggested that it is somewhere in the area adjacent to Tibet in the Kunlun Mountains. That’s from the book. There are many other places which claim to be the inspiration for Mr. Hilton. I am happy that there is no one earthly place which can be pinned down as the definitive source of Shangri-La. Shangri-La should always be a concept embracing the ability to find true serenity which doesn’t require a physical presence; the idea is enough.

Christopher Chong

Amouage creative director Christopher Chong recently visited Bhutan coming away with the inspiration for the latest duo of releases; Figment Man and Figment Woman. Don’t read “figment” as containing fig read it as figment of imagination. Much as seeing Shangri-La would be. I’ll be reviewing both but I’m going to start with Figment Man.

Annick Menardo

Mr. Chong collaborates with perfumer Annick Menardo for Figment Man. Figment Man is part of the “second cycle” of Amouage. Now that we have a few releases in this group there is beginning to be a developing aesthetic which seems to delight in developing large themes on a broad canvas. Some of this is the brand aesthetic of Amouage. Most of it is Mr. Chong’s desire to create fragrance with an operatic wingspan. I have been enjoying this overt style through the first few releases of the “second cycle”. Mme Menardo is fluent in this kind of design making her a good partner.

The nucleus of Figment Man is sandalwood. Sandalwood is one of those smells which I associate with meditation. It is the clean slightly sweet woody scent I use as my olfactory mantra as I breathe in and out in search of center. Mr. Chong and Mme Menardo are looking to make that search a bit more challenging. Requiring an inward examination of the air, the earth, and the body.

Figment Man opens with a cleansing breath of lemon, baie rose, and geranium. This is that deep breath on a cool morning you feel it all the way to the base of your soul. The sandalwood then appears holding the center; focusing my attention. Vetiver covers it with a grassy veil which takes my focus elsewhere. Then Mme Menardo uses what is described as an “animalic note”. It is surely not a single note but a mixture of modern synthetic musks. It resolves into a clean skin accord which brings me inward. Next, I am drawn in the opposite direction as Mme Menardo creates an “earthy accord” this is a wet soil accord carrying the after the rain quality of geosmin. It intertwines with the animalic forming a duet of earth and soul on a sandalwood focal point. This is a fabulous point in the development and where Figment Man spends most of its time on my skin. After many hours guaiac wood comes along to allow me to re-establish the woody focus I started with.

Figment Man has 24-hour longevity and above average sillage.

Figment Man is everything that I respect about the current version of Amouage. Mr. Chong directs his perfumer collaborators to push to the edges of what it means to design perfume. It means Amouage is nothing less than fascinating. Figment Man uses the idea of the fictional serenity of Shangri-La to ask a perfume lover to study their idea of what an olfactive version might entail. I might not find the mythical city but the reality of Figment Man will allow me to study serenity anytime I want.

Disclosure: this review was based on a press sample provided by Amouage.

Mark Behnke

New Perfume Review Mona di Orio Suede de Suede- Leather Eclipse

Leather perfumes are some of the most interesting perfumes I try. One reason is that every perfumer must construct their own leather accord. There is no leather essential oil to take down off the shelf. Nope, each artist must create their own recipe which they can then tweak for every effect leather can have. Refined and silky on one end of the spectrum to raw and animalic at the other end. Choose your ingredients correctly and they can be adjusted to create anything along that continuum. Every time a perfumer takes on a leather focused perfume I look forward to acquainting myself with their version. Perfumer Fredrik Dalman decided to give me two visions of his leather accord within one perfume; Mona di Orio Suede de Suede.

Jeroen Oude Sogtoen

M. Dalman has been handpicked by Mona di Orio owner and creative director Jeroen Oude Sogtoen as the in-house perfumer to continue Mme di Orio’s legacy. Some of the greatest perfumes of this century were created by Mme di Orio therefore M. Dalman has a weighty responsibility to live up to. M. Sogtoen has accepted his job as protector of the realm, as it were, which makes his choice of M. Dalman as in-house perfumer apt. I have believed M. Dalman understands the concept of “Monaesque”. Suede de Suede is one of two new releases. It is the one where I see M. Dalman on display and Mme di Orio is much more a directing influence. The other, Dojima is the opposite way which I’ll discuss in a future review of that.

 

Fredrik Dalman

The name Suede de Suede seems like a purposeful duplication purporting leather of leather. This is not exactly what I experienced. Instead it was one kind of leather early on which became eclipsed by a different one later. This goes back to how M. Dalman constructs his leather accord. He can go from the refined end of the spectrum to the raw end of the spectrum all in one fragrance.

Suede de Suede opens with the suede leather accord on display. Early on a clever mixture of fruit and spice provide an interesting enhancement and contrast. The fruit is called a cloudberry which provides a sweet berry effect which complements those facets of refined leather. Sichuan pepper is there to remind you of the raw place where this refined leather came from. Osmanthus provides a floral counterpart along with a limpid green nature courtesy of strawberry leaves. This is the beginning of the metamorphosis of the suede back to rawhide. Patchouli coats it in a dark earthy haze removing the outer edges of the suede. It takes the use of castoreum and some other musks to fully eclipse the genteel and bring out the animal which is where Suede de Suede finishes.

Suede de Suede has 8-10 hour longevity and moderate sillage.

Suede de Suede felt like a leather eclipse on my skin as the very bright and refined suede eventually gets covered up by the rawer nature of leather in its unrefined state. Because this is so dependent on M. Dalman’s leather accord this is probably the most personal Mona di Orio fragrance he has made. Mme di Orio is here as well with her love of olfactive shadow play because no bigger shadow is created than when something eclipses another.

Disclosure: This review was based on a press sample provided by Mona di Orio.

Mark Behnke

The Sunday Magazine: It Is Not a Documentary

Back during the holidays in 1978 I went to the movies with a group of friends to see Superman : The Movie. This was Christopher Reeve in the movie which advertised “You’ll believe a man can fly”. At the end of the movie Superman flies quickly around the Earth in the opposite direction of the natural spin to reverse time. When we were at a local diner one of the group said about this, “You know that wouldn’t work. It would just throw everyone in to space.” There was a bit of silence and I internally thought,” So you bought a flying invulnerable Superman with no problem but reversing the spin of the Earth to reverse time; that’s a bridge too far?”

Superman reversing the spin of the Earth

I’m not sure what it is about popular entertainment which brings out a group of people who must criticize the reality of the fantastical. It has existed from that moment after Superman: The Movie to today. What I really find irritating is when scientists have an insatiable need to point out that fantasy is not real.

Shh! Dr. Tyson says this is impossible.

One of my favorite scientists from whom I derive a great deal of pleasure listening to on subjects of actual science is extremely guilty of this. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson just couldn’t help himself after Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out. The well-known astrophysicist just had to be a buzzkill pointing out the fighters shouldn’t be making noise in space. A weapon which absorbs the power of a sun should vaporize itself.  Finally, the small ball shaped robot which rolls everywhere would skid on sand uncontrollably. I am sure he felt better after correcting all the errors in the documentary that was presented on a galaxy far, far, away. Except Star Wars: The Force Awakens is not a documentary it is a science-fiction, notice the word after the hyphen Dr. Tyson, fantasy. You probably should look up the definition of that word too Dr. Tyson. There are so many important scientific questions which could use your expertise to spend time acting like the Star Wars universe is real science is beneath you.

How Fast Do You Fly Little Raven?

This past week has seen my internet filled up with many people who have also mistaken the sixth episode of the current season of Game of Thrones as a documentary, too. In a series where a woman has stood in a fire while everything around her burns not once, but twice, without her hair burning up got no comment. In a series where dragons exist right next to ice zombies, that’s okay. People are resurrected by a Red God, no problem. And assassins can change the shape of their bodies and voices just by putting on a mask; sure. All of a sudden, this week has been spent debating the relative running speed of one character, the flying speed of a raven, and the airspeed of dragons because of an improbable sequence in which our heroes are rescued from certain death. As this debate became more ridiculous I thought back to the scene between The Bridgekeeper and King Arthur in “Monty Python and The Holy Grail”

What is the air-speed of a Northbound dragon with a girl on its back?

The Bridgekeeper asks, “What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?. Arthur replies, “What do you mean? An African or European swallow?” The Bridgekeeper says, “Huh? I don’t know that.” Just before being flung into the abyss. For every person who can’t sit back and watch a piece of fiction and just be entertained I wish you the fate of The Bridgekeeper except I want every channel on your television and every screen at your movie theatre to be full of documentaries then those pesky inconsistencies in fiction will cease to be bothersome.

Mark Behnke